I’m not the biggest fan of Twitter. It’s a platform that censors conservative journalists merely for shitposting, while allowing members of the world’s most dangerous terrorist group to freely congregate, but some of you like the platform they provide, as it provides up-to-the minute information on your favorite racing sims – straight from the developers themselves. Around this time yesterday, the official Assetto Corsa Twitter account broke the news that private lobby functionality would not be available in the console versions of the game; a decision which promptly ignited sim racing message boards far and wide.
Today, the official Project CARS Twitter account sent out a photoshopped rendition of Slightly Mad Studios leader Ian Bell in his undies, confusing the shit out of basically anyone who ran across it. With the accompanying caption also not making much sense, it’s difficult to understand what this modern masterpiece is trying to convey. Art in itself is highly subjective, but this is no Emma Sulkowicz adult film; Ian Bell posing on a sofa has no artistic value. Therefore, could this image instead be a metaphor for the Project CARS franchise as a whole? An ultimately revolting product given the boudoir treatment in the form of intense marketing campaigns portraying the game as something it wasn’t, this description of Project CARS perfectly aligns with the sensual display of Ian Bell resting on a sofa pictured above.
I could spend paragraphs upon paragraphs diving into the deeper meaning of this portrait, but unfortunately for our readers, there’s an incredibly basic explanation: Ian wanted me to see him in his undies. We did not hear about this tweet from one of our several hundred thousand readers – the man sent it to me himself almost immediately after it was uploaded.
For my efforts in drawing attention to both major and minor issues within the world of sim racing, I have entered a special kind of hell – one in which CEO’s of major companies email me links to scantily clad photoshopped pictures of themselves as a good morning gift. And he still wants my number.