Was This for Me?

I’m not the biggest fan of Twitter. It’s a platform that censors conservative journalists merely for shitposting, while allowing members of the world’s most dangerous terrorist group to freely congregate, but some of you like the platform they provide, as it provides up-to-the minute information on your favorite racing sims – straight from the developers themselves. Around this time yesterday, the official Assetto Corsa Twitter account broke the news that private lobby functionality would not be available in the console versions of the game; a decision which promptly ignited sim racing message boards far and wide.

Today, the official Project CARS Twitter account sent out a photoshopped rendition of Slightly Mad Studios leader Ian Bell in his undies, confusing the shit out of basically anyone who ran across it. With the accompanying caption also not making much sense, it’s difficult to understand what this modern masterpiece is trying to convey. Art in itself is highly subjective, but this is no Emma Sulkowicz adult film; Ian Bell posing on a sofa has no artistic value. Therefore, could this image instead be a metaphor for the Project CARS franchise as a whole? An ultimately revolting product given the boudoir treatment in the form of intense marketing campaigns portraying the game as something it wasn’t, this description of Project CARS perfectly aligns with the sensual display of Ian Bell resting on a sofa pictured above.

I could spend paragraphs upon paragraphs diving into the deeper meaning of this portrait, but unfortunately for our readers, there’s an incredibly basic explanation: Ian wanted me to see him in his undies. We did not hear about this tweet from one of our several hundred thousand readers – the man sent it to me himself almost immediately after it was uploaded.

For my efforts in drawing attention to both major and minor issues within the world of sim racing, I have entered a special kind of hell – one in which CEO’s of major companies email me links to scantily clad photoshopped pictures of themselves as a good morning gift. And he still wants my number.

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105 thoughts on “Was This for Me?

    1. Hello Ian, you are invited to my private party.

      Come visit me at my address : 2583 DZ Den Haag. That’s where I’m anally fucking my buddies at, but I’ll promise to give you nice and long blowjob if you come by

      Like

            1. Somewhere I have a thread saved from the original SBDT forums (circa 02 or 03) that is a bunch of guys discussing how sexy Ian’s bald head is. I need to dig it up.

              Like

  1. Hi, I’m having gay friend problems with Ian Bell again.

    Come find me at my address : 2583 DZ Den Haag. That’s where I’m tickling the bells of Ian when not clocking my ballsack.

    Like

          1. Hello Mr Bell, how do you feel about masturbation whilst playing your game Project Cars?
            Have you done it?
            And what car were you driving?

            Like

          2. Ian how long before James is working for you and is your bitch hahaha?
            We both know your thinking of buying him off, many claim you two are already in bed together.

            Like

  2. That picture is from Seinfeld. The episode where Constanza is photographed by Kramer trying to impress a photo booth woman attendant and everything ends up in a gay picture exchange with a huge black dude much to Constanza dismay. lol Really funny episode.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hello Jorge, you are invited to my private party.

      Come visit me at my address : 2583 DZ Den Haag. That’s where I’m anally fucking my buddies at, but I’ll promise to give you nice and long blowjob if you come by

      Like

          1. Ian can you please stop making fun about gay people, I’m gay and open in my church about it, how dare you make crude phone sex jokes?

            Like

  3. Sorry to disappoint you, but this isn’t actually Ian Bell, but the character George Costanza from Seinfeld. Posting pictures of him is usually a method to announce a shitpost.

    Original pic: https://img1.etsystatic.com/004/0/5851351/il_fullxfull.380160499_gd9j.jpg
    Another popular Costanza pic: http://i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/facebook/000/124/933/1304376955947.png

    This really sounds like some inside joke, probably aimed at you. Maybe Ian still wants to seduce you.

    Like

        1. You’ll have to fight Austin for him. It feels like we’re mere days away from finding out these two are engaged in a scandalous romance over in Singapore.

          Liked by 1 person

      1. Hey Ian, I bet if you ask nicely, Austin will send you a picture of his “head.” He’s probably got a better chance of scoring with you than anyone else.

        Like

  4. Look what we have here, more shilling from James for SMS, another little non event thats been planned by both to get more attention to the game, you two can’t play everybody for fools.
    Its twiddle dee and twiddle dumb.

    Like

  5. I just want to say two things. One, it’s obvious you’ve never seen Seinfeld. Two, Ian Bell is a fat, bald, stupid asshole and I hope he never releases another game. Hope you’re enjoying dodging taxes in Singapore, Ian!

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      1. You really aren’t as bad as they say, you’re ok Ian Bell.

        But your moderators are absolute blue vein cigar smokers 24/7, they are choking on each others cashew sized penis’s as we speak, they give you and you’re game a really bad name.
        Konan tha anal invader, Remco van shite poker, Roger anal Payne, Cluck the suckhole,to name a few, you need to tidy up you’re site Ian.

        Like

    1. I won’t have that. I’ve offered James everything from cash to hookers to the shirt off my back (literally) and he’s been resolute in refusing all offers. I’m starting to suspect this man can’t be bought.

      Like

  6. Shame that wmd investing wasn’t possible with pcars 2 in the same way it was with pcars 1, I would have invested couple of grands right away, I trust your business instincts Ian.

    Like

        1. You are one to talk, Ogonoski, doing everything in your might to make it stoop even closer to the bottom and attacking random people for not driving as you see fit or using overlays in the way you don’t like.

          Liked by 1 person

  7. also you should give him your number immediately, at least then you can make phone to anus junction with him that would save simracing as a whole

    Like

  8. I love this.. Game developer blatantly trolls guy who writes about the developer’s game.

    Writer is so narcissistic he misses it all and writes the expected, “Why is Ian Bell sending me photos of his naked body hmm? What else is SMS hiding about PCars2 hmm? I don’t know why I’m so important but I guess god just works in mysterious ways hm?” article.

    Commenter points out it’s actually a Seinfeld reference and has nothing to do with the writer at all other than the aforementioned trolling.

    Writer returns to email logs to prove that the industry and its entire reason for existence really is about him.

    Like

  9. We in the pCars2 forum know what this picture is about.. sadly it’s not you Austin…. it was posted in the forum by Ian first before going on twitter and the thread it was posted in has been quite hilarious the last few days. You’d actually love it I think.

    Liked by 1 person

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