Speaking from experience, the Burnout 3 Soundtrack is not ideal “first date” music

150227-Burnout_3_-_Takedown_(USA)-3Let me set the scene for you:

You finally got some alone time with the QT 3.14 in your circle of friends who you thought was into you but weren’t quite sure. You’re just going to pick her up from her place and take her to a quick movie – nothing too special, just a way to break the ice and get things going. She climbs into your late 90’s truck, you both crack a few jokes, and slowly turn up the volume of the music to kill the awkwardness and prevent both of you from analyzing every little movement the other makes.

There’s a problem though. The soundtrack you picked for the night, from EA’s 2004 title Burnout 3, isn’t exactly the greatest background music. Suddenly, these carefree tunes that you probably sing along to when driving by yourself only serve to make the ride to the theater astronomically more awkward, with lyrics such as:

I see through her smile,
I don’t trust these eyes,
She’s a walking lie…

Skip. Next song.

She’ll fuck you just for the taste,
I just wish I could replace all the memories
Of what makes my blood run cold
And as your blood flows through me
I say goodbye to what we had…

Nope. Next.

I know that I hurt you, things will never be the same
The only love I ever knew, I threw it all away

Every other song on this damn soundtrack is about a breakup.

List of songs about breakups/shitty women, in Burnout 3: Takedown
1208 – “Fall Apart”
Amber Pacific – “Always You”
Atretyu – “Right Side of the Bed”
Donots – “Saccharine Smile”
Eighteen Visions – “I Let Go”
Fall Out Boy – “Reinventing the Wheel”
From First to Last – “Populace in Two”
Funeral For A Friend – “Rookie of the Year”
Jimmy Eat World – “Just Tonight”
Maxeen – “Please”
Moments In Grace – “Broken Promises”
Motion City Soundtrack – “My Favorite Accident”
My Chemical Romance – “I’m Not Okay”
No Motiv – “Independence Day”
Reggie and the Full Effect – “Congratulations Smack and Katy”
Rise Against – “Paper Wings”
Sahara Hotnights – “Hot Night Crash”
Silent Drive – “4-16”
Sugarcult – “Memory”
Yellowcard – “Breathing”
Remaining songs in Burnout 3: Takedown
Ash – “Orpheus”
Autopilot Off – “Make a Sound”
Bouncing Souls – “Sing Along Forever”
Burning Brides – “Heart Full of Black”
Chronic Future – “Time and Time Again”
Finger Eleven – “Stay in Shadow”
Franz Ferdinand – “This Fire”
Futureheads – “Decent Days and Nights”
Go Betty Go – “C’mon”
Letter Kills – “Radio Up”
Local H – “Everyone Alive”
Midtown – “Give It Up”
Mudmen – “Animal”
New Found Glory – “At Least I’m Known”
Pennywise – “Rise Up”
Ramones – “I Wanna be Sedated”
The D4 – “Come On!”
The Explosion – “Here I Am”
The Fups – “Lazy Generation”
The Lot Six – “Autobrats”
The Matches – “Audio Blood”
The Mooney Suzuki – “Shake That Bush”
The Ordinary Boys – “Over the Counter”
The Von Bondies – “C’Mon C’Mon”

A whopping 45% of Burnout 3’s sountrack deals with shitty relationships and/or breakups.

Don’t play this shit if there’s a girl in your passenger seat. You’ve been warned. It makes shit weird.

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One thought on “Speaking from experience, the Burnout 3 Soundtrack is not ideal “first date” music

  1. Now that’s what I call a variety article. (Don’t worry about me shitposting in old posts – I already found this post earlier)

    For the record… Yellowcard’s Breathing is also in one of Burnout’s rival game, Flatout 2.

    I bet the reason they put those breakup songs is because these songs have the undertones about rage – and in Burnout 3, you are basically engaging in a destructive, fatal battle race.

    Now I’m going to leave this song here and leave to everyone’s opinion if the theme(s) of this song can counter the breakup songs – and whether it will fit in a(ny) racing game. (flies off)

    Like

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