Why the FIA’s pro-feminist stance isn’t actually a bad thing

It seems April Fools day this year turned into a week-long festival of batshit insane articles that were anything but a cruel joke. First, we had a horrifying plane crash in the French Alps caused by pilot suicide, then we had a spectator fatality at the Nurburgring Nordschleife that resulted in most of the good classes at the Ring being banned from competition, and yesterday the FIA buckled under pressure from feminists crying about the over-sexualization of the female body, stating that Grid Girls would no longer be seen at WEC events.

Untitled-2Look, I can’t stand feminism in today’s society, because it unfortunately boils down to a bunch of women with various mental illnesses thinking that all men on the planet are conspiring to oppress them. The sad reality is that while some people go to college, pursue a career, or enter the working world, the ones still living with their folks, their walls plastered with Twilight posters, blame their own shortcomings on the opposite gender. Give these people a place to spread their views like Tumblr, and suddenly you have large groups of people saying it’s okay to be fat, it’s okay to sleep around and spread STD’s, and that it’s a sign of intelligence if you watch your wife fuck some other dude.

And they get away with it because most people don’t realize feminism is a synonym for nutjob and are so afraid of being called sexists/rapists/misogynists by random women in public that they go with the flow and give these people what they want. In extreme cases, you have people who have admitted to not even playing video games claim that video games somehow oppress women and go on huge crusades to change a form of entertainment they don’t even participate in.

I try to stay away from this garbage as much as I can, since there’s a whole wide world of real and virtual motorsports to explore instead of getting caught up with angry vaginas on Tumblr. So when I saw that the FIA was doing away with grid girls, I was pretty damn close to throwing my phone across the room.

Then I realized they might be onto something.

NHRA_Langdon_TraxxasTrophy

Above is NHRA driver Shawn Langdon after winning the 2013 Traxxas Nitro Shootout, the luckstomp version of NASCAR’s Sprint Unlimited. Obviously in the shot, you have Shawn, the president of Traxxas, and three Traxxas Girls, basically the stereotypical trophy girls of the 80’s. And below, you have Tim Richmond with Miss Winston and a few others at Riverside in 1982.

1982riversideB400TimRichmondLindaVaughnBoth shots represent the stereotypical victory lane scene – sweaty driver with a trophy, beer, and a pretty girl. This is basically what you aim for as a race car driver the moment you get into any worthwhile series. You want to win the race and fuck the trophy girl.

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The only question is, what happens if you’re a chick and you get into auto racing? The stereotypical victory lane festivities don’t make a whole lot of sense, and to be honest, are pretty damn awkward. Do you lez out with the trophy girl and make national headlines? Do you whip out your phone and follow each other on Instagram? Do you request a MR. Sprint Cup as a replacement? Or do you outright ignore her and hope someone at the sanctioning body clues in that we’ve moved past this era?

Because when you have successful female drivers who are in some cases better looking than the trophy girls assigned to stand beside them, it just makes everything really fuckin’ weird. Especially when the female drivers are much better role models than the arm candy next to them.

"TOYOTA/SAVE MART 350"

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So in the end, it’s definitely the right thing to do for the FIA to move away from pit babes. We’re not at that point in history anymore. But there’s another topic to discuss as well. Apparently there’s a bit of a buzz going on about the possibility of an all-female open wheel series under the FIA banner.

motorsportCarmen Jorda believes “men are pushing women down” in racing.

Is that so?

Michelle Mouton

Sabine Schmitz

Jill Canuso

Danica Patrick

Alexis Dejoria

Ashley Force

Larsen Motorsports

Debra Micelli

Leah Pritchett

Shelley Anderson

Angelle Sampey

Shirley Muldowney

Courtney Force

Johanna Long

Susie Wolff

Erica Enders

Meanwhile Carmen Jorda’s stats are as follows:

jorda10 seasons, 162 starts, 4 podium finishes, 0 poles, 0 wins, 0 fastest laps..

I don’t think men are pushing her down. She just might not be very good. So would an all-female open wheel series even be validated?

force

Hell no. Race cars don’t know if the driver is male or female. It would be a bunch of amateurs embarrassing themselves.

But we should probably do away with grid girls because we’re past that point in history.

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3 thoughts on “Why the FIA’s pro-feminist stance isn’t actually a bad thing

  1. So Vettel reportedly said this in regards to the “grid guys” (a term I use for the pit boys when they’re out on the grid before the race begins) news just before the Brazilian GP: https://twitter.com/sebvettelnews/status/665547153213788161?s=09 (from /r/formula1)

    To be honest though… you still have Japanese race queens (that’s the term they use for grid girls) in Super GT and suchlike… and they’re always one of the best things ever about Japanese motorsport (being lewdly qt and all, since they’re basically glorified gravure idols – oh shit, I’m confirmed for lewd now)

    Also, a certain arcade racer used this thing as a gimmick/mascot… and it’s coming to a reader submission near you soon. Ha ha ha ha!

    Like

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