The Russian guy shilling for WRC 5 has captured our hearts

WRC5 2015-10-16 19-18-36-15Real life constantly finds a way to deliver.

Over the weekend, I tortured myself by reviewing what has quickly cemented itself as one of the worst retail racing games I’ve ever had the opportunity to play – WRC 5 by Kylotonn Games. Many of us knew the game would be atrocious based on the initial previews, and this concern was validated upon checking out the developer’s back catalog. This is a team whose claim to fame were a line of fitness games, and Speedball 2 on the Xbox Live Arcade. To say the least, it was extremely worrying that these guys had somehow obtained the official WRC license; almost as if those in charge of the WRC’s marketing department believed video games were nothing more than event souvenirs like a hoodie or ball cap. It didn’t matter who the developer was,  or why having a good developer in charge of creating your video game is important, as long as the end result was something people could spend money on with the WRC logo adorning the package that would play in a PS4.

If you haven’t read our lengthy review on the title yet, I’ll do my best to forego the critical analysis and bring y’all up to speed : I can’t recommend this game to anybody.

Before I’d really gotten to try out the game for any length of time, the application either crashed to the desktop, screwed up the resolution at random, or exhibited framerate issues that are unacceptable. ATI Catalyst Control Center sorcery was needed to get the program into a stable state, and when I was finally able to put some laps down, I was transported back in time by an entire decade. The game’s poor graphics, remarkably bad engines sounds, and an incompetent co-driver only served to enhance the game’s most prominent flaws: extremely easy stages, scripted artificial intelligence, and unresponsive, muddy driving physics.

WRC5 2015-10-16 19-33-55-14Had this game been released on Sony’s Playstation 2 during the height of Codemasters’ dominance with the Colin McRae Series, WRC 5 would struggle to establish itself as an alternative to the competition.

  • Colin McRae Rally 2005 had almost 80 stages and a more diverse list of cars.
  • WRC: Rally Evolved had fairly realistic stage layouts and was compatible with high-end Logitech wheels.
  • V-Rally 3 had a better career mode.
  • RalliSport Challenge 2 had first-party Xbox Live support, as well as rallycross.
  • Richard Burns Rally had better physics and could be modded.

The purpose of WRC 5’s existence is purely to be a virtual souvenir. Unable to stack up against games from a decade ago, and certainly not a threat to either DiRT Rally or Sebastien Loeb Rally Evo, WRC 5 is a title that will live in infamy. People won’t play this game for any meaningful length of time, but rather discuss it’s launch as the beginning of a dark age for officially licensed WRC console games. As a brand operating in a time where video games have surpassed movies as the biggest entertainment medium in the world, this is not what you want.

And Kylotonn were well aware of this. In interviews leading up to the release of WRC 5, the marketing director for the game explicitly said the game is not intended to be a racing sim, but a lighthearted racing game designed for mass appeal. Given that the aforementioned games exist, and the current state of WRC 5, in hindsight it was probably best to shoot for a little more than that.

not a simAnyways, in my travels to learn more about the small community surrounding WRC 5, I eventually found myself in the Steam forums, and came across a thread started by a guy named Ivanushka Grid, or “Ivan”, with over 100 replies.

introIn what appears to be a post translated directly from Russian to English, Ivan claims our forum (as if he was affiliated with the game somehow) has been invaded by DiRT Rally elitists, and spends much longer than the average length of a PRC.net article claiming DiRT Rally is an arcade game, and WRC 5 is a true rally simulator.

While the grammar is surprisingly coherent, the arguments and figures of speech simply do not translate properly to English, turning Ivan’s lengthy rant about his personal grievances with DiRT Rally into the most obscure piece of comedy gold you’ll ever find on this website, laced with absurd terms and nonsensical comparisons. Fans of Codemasters latest PC rally sim are deemed “DiRT Rally masturbs”,  the cars are now “cranes”, and the game’s handling is referred to as “railway arcade”, before the author starts lecturing the readers on black holes and some experiment performed by a Russian instructor at a university in Paris.

autism1autism2I have done the impossible and summarized what Ivan has written above.

  • “Our Forum” is filled with DiRT Rally elitists shitting on WRC 5 and praising their “squalid railway arcade.”
  • “Dirt” is not a serious title for a rally simulator because I said so, and also stands for “FAKE”, because I said so.
  • DiRT Rally aims to be a spiritual successor to Richard Burns Rally, but it’s not a rally game at all.
  • I used to be bad at Richard Burns Rally, but then I got good at it and realized it was a masterpiece.
  • The physics in older DiRT titles are like railway driving.
  • An entire paragraph full of train analogies.
  • DiRT Rally is not a simulator, stop calling it one!
  • My driving style of constantly sending the car into a drift and abusing the tires doesn’t work in DiRT Rally, so it’s not a real simulator and WRC 5 is better.
  • I can’t powerslide in the 1970’s cars, therefore DiRT Rally is not a simulator.
  • The cars in DiRT Rally drive like a rail-laying crane.
  • The Monte Carlo stages in DiRT Rally can only be passed with precise driving skills, ones not possessed by women and gays.
  • I can’t powerslide at all in DiRT Rally.
  • The 1995 Subaru Impreza has a rocket engine, extremely grippy tires, and I didn’t win a few online events because of cheaters. I promise I’m good though.
  • DiRT Rally players are snobbish towards the official WRC games because they win their first stage and say the game is too easy.
  • Flashbacks ruin the game.
  • Being able to adjust your car setup in DiRT Rally is wrong.
  • A lecture on black holes.
  • He complains about track limits for a bit.
  • Even though the stages are authentic, I don’t like them because one of the Greece stages has a rock in the DiRT Rally version that isn’t in the real version.
  • If you drive off the side of a cliff, the game retires you from the whole rally, and that bothers me.
  • You have to play career mode to unlock cars, upgrades, and mechanics to work on your car, and it’s unfair because I said so.
  • A couple paragraphs rambling on the different audiences Codemasters has pandered to over the years.
  • A lecture on some Russian teacher from a university in Paris that performed an experiment on his students.
  • DiRT Rally isn’t a real rally game because I said so.
  • Railway Drivers cannot understand how good WRC 5 is.

Of course, the rest of the users browsing the forum reacted in a collective what the fuck?

communityreacts1Ivan defends his views that DiRT Rally is not a rally game by saying some random rally driver endorsed WRC 5, and that means Kylotonn’s newest release is a racing simulator, despite the developers clearly stating in pre-release interviews that it’s not. The community promptly laughs at him.

end of story 2Ivan justifies his views by posting himself running a lap of a Swedish stage, where he is seen monster trucking over berms, cutting the track, and entering hairpin corners in fifth gear.

After several pages of shitposting, one user questions why Ivan hasn’t been removed from the forums yet, and another comments that moderators had deleted several posts in an effort to protect Ivan. This only fueled the beliefs that Ivan might be somehow involved with Kylotonn Games.

moderatorsOf course, it wasn’t long before Ivan found his way over to PRC.net, and stumbled upon our harsh review of WRC 5.

putinpowerRest in Peace, my beloved Print Screen button. Apparently, this dude is fairly well known to dedicated Grid players for an entirely different reason:

91 thoughts on “The Russian guy shilling for WRC 5 has captured our hearts

  1. “The Monte Carlo stages in DiRT Rally can only be passed with precise driving skills, ones not possessed by women and gays.”

    hahahahaha

    Like

  2. Dirt Rally isn´t the most hardcore-rally sim ever. But it´s by far much better than WRC 5. I saw a similar comment by this Russian dude in a comment section of a game magazine review. I just was thinking “What the fuck is he playing?”

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  3. “The Monte Carlo stages in DiRT Rally can only be passed with precise driving skills, ones not possessed by women and gays.”
    This is pure gold. I kind of agree, as I’ve seen many terrible women driving. I didn’t know this applied also to gays, though.

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    1. The exact wording was “For passing entire long stage in such way you must be possessed with extreme precise carefulness and exactness, usually peculiar to girls or, may be, to boys which like boys – so, for whom it [DiRT Rally] made?”

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I think the proper spelling of his first name may be Aiven.

    Perhaps he can clarify. The phrases he has given us are excellent.

    Glad he found PRC. I want to hear is take on the great simulation wars aside from rally, too.

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  5. You guys started as a blog that looked at the top-shelf simracing titles in a critical way and also brought some other, more obscure/forgottlen titles to light.But for some time now you’ve been frquently occupied in nothing more than splitting hairs. Hexagramme and Assiciator this, Hexagramme and Associator that. Really. Who the fuck cares. Is that russki Ivan a prominent enough figure to devote a whole column to? TL;DR. Get a life.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. “The Monte Carlo stages in DiRT Rally can only be passed with precise driving skills, ones not possessed by women and gays.”

    I’m crying 😂

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  7. So, if you discuss me, you must read thos comment from neighbour topic:

    To James. Looks like, we mean different RBR. I mean classical game with original cars, but at your video we see somewhat evidently different. Generally TRUE RBR really cannot be compared with Dirt Rally, since first has free sliding model of tyres grip, second – railway Dirt 3 model with odd and ugly above pillied scripts. But, may be, your pseudo-RBR is even compatible.
    Already in May I wrote an article named “To Rejoice of Sectarians”, where I drawn in how way different communities of Dirt arcade and pseudo-RBR became ready for a present time junction in extasy in Dirt Rally.
    Seatting for a years in the same tracks, you gradually became the same arcade musturbs, as played Dirt in the same time. You began to use more and more fast and more stable vehicles, and as a result became the same not-to-miss-railway grandmasters, as licked corners in dirts.
    Now you even dont understand, that you are go by line without corp direction shift, you event dont see true rally intakes in movie from real life you posted yourself. “All flies are at door glass” – its not about you, so, its not rally.
    In DR we see flat model, where you must co-ordinate only two parameters, wheel angle and speed, so, you measure angles with pharmaceutical doses for not to miss railway at unreally wild speed you reached. Its you “simulation”, its very squalid. In rally you must THROW car into drift, you must make rough movements, you must begin turn much earlier, but keep inertia up to corner exiting. You must foresee and feel inertia in interaction with greep, must make long sophysticated maneuvers with permanent mutual correction of gas, wheel, brake and gears simultaneous work. All these presented in WRC 5 as in RBR. But you can do only short spasmodic jerks, using your shooting skills. So, you even dont see, that in Fake Rally at list at asphalt simultaneous using of brake and wheel are totally forbidden, its total fake. And you are play simulator of rocket-train hybrid. we live in such trime, where untalented, but obstinate dominates in society, and we see, that even in RBR community, in community of initially beautifull, deeply sensitive game such people gradually became, looks like, dominated also. So, great era of such games as RBR or HL2 finished, and we must eat different plastic fakes. But in WRC 5 we see another: somewhat live and true. Nothing surprising, that it irritate you, but really it shows only your true face.

    The thing is simple: you mix up “simulator” with “hardcore”. Simulator means REALISM. And a game can be hard with realism. Its RBR (original). But such products as Dirt Rally pill “hardcore” INSTEAD of realism. So, realize: if for love you need shackles and scourges, you are ILL. If you see beatifull girl and tell “no, she cannot flog me” – you are ILL. And when you met BEAUTIFUL game (beautiful with its physical model – its the body, the rest insignificiant), and tell “we shall not play, too wide tracks” – you are ILL. Easy for you? But go there and try to beat my records. It will be more hard, than in DR, where are also beat you. Since there not enough to suck track thousand times: you must be really creative. So, try to feel free, forgot your sectarians dogmas, try to recieve enjoyment from driving itself, dont care about “hardcore”. And may be it will occur, that you are not so hopeless.My God! Yestarday I tried long stage in Germany. Even picture better than at same location in DR. But what a feelings! Watch, and if you are not totally blind… (good from 1.05 – my second try)

    Like

      1. My mistake, I thought your name was actually spelled Aiven technically and you only used ‘Ivan’ to clarify pronunciation.

        As for the video, that’s pretty good. However, I don’t see you actively introducing oversteer for most of the corners, you’re just turning in like it’s a road race most of the time without setting up for the corner. It’s important to remember that a rally car can be driven both ways in real life, it depends on how the driver chooses to attack the stage.

        Also, what was your diff lock setting? Maybe you’re running the diff too loose, I know I prefer stronger diff lock settings in dirt:rally, so give that a try if you haven’t already.

        Setups do matter in dirt to get the handling you want out of the cars. The default settings are pretty conservative.

        Like

      2. It’s completely beyond me how one could think that Иван translates to Aiven, even Google translate gives it as Ivan.

        @Ivan: I don’t see how that looks unrealistic. If anything, that looks hyper-realistic. That’s how these cars drive

        Like

      3. Sev, it was from the steam thread. The relevant comments are now gone (no idea why they are deleting comments randomly).

        I understand now that he was correcting someone else.

        “It’s completely beyond me how one could think that Иван translates to Aiven,”

        Oh, so you’re fluent in Cyrillic or just pretending?

        Like

      4. Perhaps. I think certain corners could be navigated more quickly with more aggressive/earlier weight shift, though 99% of the dirt:rally videos showing fast times do not utilize this technique, as you have said.

        “As for lock settings, I dont care: some of their sliders’ moving effects occured so absurd, that I stoppet tries.”

        I think you should experiment a bit more with the lock settings, though you’re right that absurd behavior can also be found with the setup sliders.

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      5. Matter of fact yes, I can more-or-less fluently read Cyrillic script.

        И = Capital “i”
        в = v
        а = a
        н = n

        Why would you randomly assume the i is pronounced “Ai” and the “a” is pronounced “e”

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      6. I never assumed it was pronounced any differently than normal Ivan and based my interpretation directly on one of his posts on the steam forum. Additionally, the difference between the pronunciation of ‘en’ and ‘an’ as it is commonly spoken in english is minimal. No one says ivAAAn, the hard A sound is nearly non-existent in casual English.

        Given your country of origin, I’m not exactly surprised that you can read Cyrillic at some level…I know more Hindi than I do Cyrillic for the same reason, personal relevancy.

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      1. If it’s not too much trouble, I would genuinely like to read it. I think Codemasters is being a bit sensitive by deleting it, they should be able to handle criticism.

        Truth is, you’re discussing an aspect of dirt rally that I’m not 100% satisfied with either (the tarmac handling especially).

        It’s good that you are pointing out areas that do need work. Even if we disagree about WRC 5 vs. Dirt overall, a bunch of ‘yes men’ telling codemaster’s that everything is perfect is not healthy for the game.

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    1. But Ivan, it appears you have reach only checkpoint, not finish!
      You say when I see beautiful girl, i tell her “no, she cannot flog me”, and this is my perfect decline. When I see beautiful polish siren, I say “no, please adhere 300 feet invisible space and telecommunication apprehension on X, Y, and Z axis.” Comrades uncertain, cry “but James, the song of siren is for you, are you the boy who likes other boys?”, they do not realize this female product has released with INTERNAL BUGS! Such errors make command failures and train derailment to PHYSICAL INJURY! The creator say IT HAS NO BUGS, NO DERAILMENT, NO INJURY, A WORK OF GOD, but I see with own eyes train has no brakes, and railway arcade to ramp off cliff. But those with no ticket believe train is MARVELOUS, and woman not siren, but adventurous journey. Those who ride train and jump out window SEE siren is deadly.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Now I see, why you began to produce base calumny. Your words empty and enonsense, but also simply shoqing your impotence in “brilliant” style writing travails. Better try to tell in simply words at list something sensible. I see, that people here begin to understand that initial point of your article was, to say slightly, incorrect. Try to realize this fact and improve your position at least a little.

        Like

      2. Taking seriously, in all such review we see great example of finding a mote in somebody’s eye with ignoring of beam in own. Discovering with microscope somewhat “bugs” in generally exellent and consequentive model – and mention as a standart ugly scripts conglomeration, insulting our intuition as well as physics laws itself. No-sliding tyres and ragged pieces of inertia in DR – its not bugs. Yes, may be, really: simply no subject for calling it bugs-including.

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      3. Ivan, you must realize that James already made his opinion known about the negative aspects of Dirt:Rally a while ago with a specific article on the topic.

        You cannot assume that he believes Dirt:rally to be perfect simply because he states that WRC 5 is not as good.

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      4. I see he produce somewhat preconceived and spiteful text, going up to appeal of take away WRC license from Kilotonn. Its realy too much, because he can dont like such type game, but as review author he cannot be so narrow-minded and agressive. Of course, he is really incompetent and even ill in sence I described in my comment, but he allow to himself evidently more than supposed.

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    2. “In rally you must THROW car into drift, you must make rough movements, you must begin turn much earlier, but keep inertia up to corner exiting” – you can not be more wrong about rally, this just shows that you have never driven a rally car and don’t know anyone who has done it. Rally drivers NEVER throw cars into corners as they don’t know what to expect from surface, every corner is different even the same one on another pass. There is absolutely no place for rough inputs/movements. Take a look of Loeb on-boards, he looks almost asleep behind the wheel.

      PS – and don’t get me started on your opinion sounding exactly like a prime example of Russian propaganda. Made up term(railway sim) that is being used repeatedly and only by you(no one has any idea what that means). And for a good measure just dropping in some completely unrelated quote by some scientist/professor. Seen this so many times before.

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    3. “To James. Looks like, we mean different RBR. I mean classical game with original cars, but at your video we see somewhat evidently different. Generally TRUE RBR really cannot be”

      So, if you are not referring to RSRBR and the NGP Car Mods, then really what the fuck are you referring to? Vanilla rbr?!

      http://www.racedepartment.com/threads/next-generation-physics-ngp-plugin.92651/

      Just look at the changelog and you will hopefully realise the shortcomings of your skypraised vanilla rbr.

      Like

        1. sorry i am obviously confused. i got here following the link in this post: 2016/05/29/kylotonn-games-enters-the-previous-console-generation/
          nevermind

          Like

  8. Hello again Aiven! (is this the correct spelling?)

    I was wondering, what other racing titles are you currently enjoying outside of the rally genre?

    Like

  9. Its interesting: very often I saw forum users, being offended with my posts, tried to to defame me in their posts. And now first time I see somewhat articles author do the same, in the same vile and squalid manner. We reach new level forcing people to show their true face!

    Like

      1. You decided to fall even lower? About this all, I hope, people can find in comments on Youtube. Its made by cheater (your spiritual brother), really unmasked by me. here you can see only lags at his system (to slow for screen recording and using slow unternet in Russian province). But the question is: can you see to yourself? Its the only intake you can use in polemics? You’re real loser, son.

        Like

      2. I don’t see you ‘cheating’. I see inconsistent driving and usage of recovery aids so you do not fall down in the final results. It’s the sort of behavior I expect from arcade racers and also the reason I do not race in such titles

        Maybe it appears fast at the end of the race because you place higher than you would have otherwise, but it is merely a shell of glamour that does not include honor nor sportsmanship.

        Winning is not that important, especially with a game like GRID with physics nearing the ‘tap brake to drift’ auto-turn highway rails that we still see in the latest need for speed titles.

        Compare to actual sim racing, where opponent may blow his corner entry and gracefully move aside to allow the better driver to maintain his pace and rightful position in the race.

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      3. So strange… you know, NO recovery key presented in that game. This cheatter tells about somewhat F1 press – its, looks like, from trainer he used, I even dont know about such possibilities. In this session 3 or 4 evident cheatters were presented, and, looks like, they produced all this shit with visual reloadings and so on. I have hundreds of this game recordings, some of them you can find in my channel… so, just there you can better estimate my “behaviour”. Look, for example, how I make a fuss iwth mid-level driver, several times beatting me at overtake.

        All produced in presented by this Janes video is fake, voice and even tables – from other events and so on.

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      4. And also, no any honest struggle was possible in this session. These guys are VERY impudent. When one or two of them were presented in session, I was the only person who could fight with them, but here – 4. So, in some moment they really drived me out of my wits. But, so , it occured seldom with me.

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      5. Well, I have not played GRID in many a year but I do recall a recovery feature and editing that transparency into the video would have been rather time consuming.

        I am aware that some aspects of the video are edited, though I do not believe it’s entirely falsified in terms of what actually took place during those races with regards to driving behavior.

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      6. No recovery button in ANY Grid. And about behaviour… at first race, as I recall, after what took place at first turn I stopped try to fight for higher place, but becoma really angry and really tried to take vengeance to that geeks. All other – usual episodes, occured often there with all. I was really on of the most carefull with others. I always to keeped white my circle, printed near name at table (it could became green, yellow, red for colliding a lot). Sometimes when I won a race, I simply closed game before this result became counted, for not to become green. I can give you access to the hundreds of recordings in my cloud, and at each I am white.

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  10. fuck this piece of shit. typical russian lagger. Try playing battlefield against these cunts! 50 cal point blank range, nothing happens. Russian turns around pop with a pistol and down you go.

    Like

  11. I especially like these references to WRC 5 developers, allegedly confirming that their game is not a “sim” (although at their official page they printed words “best rally simulator”). Dear friends, they simply tries to play up just to you. They tries to give you understaning of they will not offer to you that little hardcore toys, which you like so much to elbow into your ass. They as if tells, that they will simply present realistic and interesting game, resting ill people with their masochistic complexes alone. Here they make typical mistake, trying to slave under ill people. No, its not allowed to connive at loony: it can only aggravate their condition. Much more suitable such instruments like strait-jacket, electric shoker or sometimes simply poke into teeth: these things help to that poor people to sense again true contact with reality and, may be, a little bridle their unhealthy fantasies. So, the fact of hardcore toys player will not recieve this signal adequately – this fact was predictable well.

    Like

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